After having my mind thoroughly blown by B.A. Johnston’s live performance, I could not resist buying his latest album “Call me When Old and Fat is the New Young and Sexy.” This was probably the wisest purchase I have made all year as I have been listening to the album non stop for over a week now.

     If you are not familiar with B.A. Johnston, his website describes him as “a fat lazy chud who lives with his mother in Hamilton, Ontario. He only leaves the house to play shows, work as a fry cook, and to go on sporadic dates that his mom gets for him at her hair salon.” As a fat lazy man myself I felt like I had found my soul mate when I read this. Johnston plays the majority of his songs to the presets on a Value Village keyboard, or his trusty guitar complete with “Argonauts Suck” sticker. Occasionally he is joined by some beautiful backing vocals, a drummer, and sometimes even a good ole banjo.

     With his Casio bass party grooves and metaphors about poutine and comic books, you might jump to the conclusion that B.A. Johnston is nothing more than a novelty act. This is not true; in fact a majority of his songs come straight from the heart of someone who knows how it feels to be alone on a cold Hamilton night. If you can stop yourself from shaking your hips to the albums opener “Chud Love” you will notice such sad little lines such as “I didn’t ask baby Jesus to be so repulsive to woman.” This is the beauty of B.A. Johnston, he as able to wear his heart on his sleeve for the sake of your entertainment, and entertain he definitely does.

     The album alternates between the up beat keyboard songs that he says are remniscent of a “fuckin Miami bass party” and the lower key songs with just him and his guitar. This is very effective as you are just getting into his acoustic songs and then he pulls you back in with an in your face Casio riff and starts singing about trying to sleep while your roommates are copulating. The first time you listen to this album you will probably be
rolling on the floor laughing, but it is with repeated listening that you appreciate the underlying beauty of most of these songs. Of course songs like “Sleepin With My Walkman” and “The Fart That Got Away” are nothing more than pure hilarity, but tracks like “Pitfallin For You” and “Lies I Tell Myself” are intensely honest songs about heartache and loneliness. Johnston has the ability to write songs that nerds and fat lazy chuds everywhere will be able to relate to instantly.

     “Call Me When Old and Fat is the New Young and Sexy” is one of my favorite albums of the year, and will be in heavy rotation on my personal playlist for a long time. Rather than promote his latest album, B.A. Johnston himself said that his previous album “My Heart is a Blinking Nintendo” is actually his best. I would have to agree with him but this album is still great nonetheless.

5/5